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Overcoming barriers in her mind: How to stop negative thinking and create Victim Success Now
Do you have a tendency to ask: "Why me?" Is your pity pot overflowing these days? Too often we focus on lamenting why "so and so" no "as and such "or why we are in this dilemma. It is easy to forget that the only person who can control is yourself.
I'm just as guilty of this as you. Remember spending countless amounts of time looking for a particularly hard to complain about how he could not land the job I wanted. He had all the credentials but was never a first choice. He refused once again, I grab some Haagen Dazs comforting, curl up in a wingback and lament, "Why Why me? "
I felt like a victim. I walked like a victim. I spoke as a victim. Hey, I never even thought about getting "Victim" tattooed on his left calf. (Well, I'm kidding on the last, but you get the point.) I was addicted to the victim.
There should be a program 12-step MA (anonymous martyrs) for those of us who think that theater is not just for soap operas. We are, as many people participating in programs 12-step, we are addicted to negativity and our oh-so-sad scripts.
This is a very expensive addiction. It costs you friends, it costs the fun, it costs freedom and happiness.
Would not that be much more productive and satisfying to change the channel of your life? Okay, raise your hand, right? Imagine you have a remote control in hand. (Yes, you have not, change your channel irritating husband!)
We will see together. Does your channel "Alas?" Are you addicted to negative thinking and dispersion along and everything they did to you or told you or they have caused in your life?
Attention: I'm not ignoring the fact that there are perpetrators in abundance in our world, people who commit heinous crimes betray us, cause us pain and misery, and try to calm the creative spirits. But after all is said and done, how many times we fail to take up residence in our brains? How long is going to let its focus on what was being "done" so that instead of what you can do?
Let's take a couple of examples. If your boss is verbally abusive, you can not change their behavior and can change the past, the infidelity of a spouse is lost. However, you have the opportunity to make a different question than "Why Why me? "
What if you ask, "Where can I find a new job?" Or "How can I maintain my equanimity and do my work, even when my boss is ranting? "Or, consider," What do I get out of this relationship and find someone that the values of loyalty as much as me? "
In any case, only the victim is paralyzed by thinking all the while focusing on the "Oh Me "channel." And what you focus on "the victim's me" when you can say, "Víctor "??!!
I always feel inspired when I think of Immaculee Ilibagiza, the girl who lost most of his family in the Rwandan genocide in 1994, however, has focused its efforts in working for the United Nations and write their autobiography in motion to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust. She has had reason to be bitter; but has chosen the path of personal responsibility, asking, "What can I do to improve this situation?" and "How can I forgive those who killed my family and spread a message of survival and hope? "
Or think about the Dalai Lama, whose people have been persecuted by the Chinese for some decades, however, refers to the Chinese with the same love and compassion as he Tibetans. One of its basic principles is that we all want happiness and do not want suffering. Though exiled from his country, the Dalai Lama chooses to assert the essential equality and goodness of all people, despite appearances, or what "they" did to him and his people.
Hey, you have choices in every moment of your life. You can take responsibility for what is in their power and be able to answer, able to respond proactively to what or who threatens to undermine the peace or safety. Or you can turn to our channel to "Alas," snuggle in a corner somewhere and cry / whine / complain / judge who or what is wreaking havoc in your life.
What choice do you you'll get the results you want? What channel does not have to change in your life? And how long are you going to abuse yourself with "Why me?"
About the Author
Dr. Barnsley Brown is a professional speaker and coach who loves helping busy professionals create balance and prosperity. Find out how to have 2+ more hours every day for who and what you love with Dr. Brown’s fun, info-packed report, “How to Overcome Overwhelm in Seven Easy Steps” at http://tinyurl.com/freeoverwhelmreport/
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